What a Week...

Well, I guess it has actually been a little more than a week since my last post.  I did write a post a few days ago but didn't get it up before my computer shut down.  Meh....I didn't really like the post anyway.

So, last week I had a few "interesting" things happen that tested my commitment.

- My doctor cleared my last restriction (lifting).
- I subsequently lost my disability payments.
- I now need to pay a ridiculous amount of money to retain my health insurance.

I was laid off from my job shortly before Thanksgiving, when my protection under FMLA ran out (actually THE day it ran out).  The company is laying off a large number of people in March and saw the opportunity to give one less person a severance package.  I still had a minor lifting restriction at the time.  I had disability and my health care was going to cost $7 a month.

Not surprisingly, I am no longer eligible for disability and the health insurance discount.  In MA, health insurance is required and I have a pre-existing condition.  I am still trying to sort out what my options are as far as unemployment and state health care.....

I have also been trying to stay positive on the job front.  I started looking for jobs (on a different career path) before Christmas but it is a tough job market out there.  TONS of competitors.  Once the doctor cleared my restriction, I started looking in my former field - Biotech.  Of course, I am getting a lot more interest because I have more experience in the biotech field.  The problem is I was hoping not to return to the field.  I work as a technician in a clean room and it is INCREDIBLY hard on the back.  I knew so many people there with back problems.

Anyway, I will do what I must to pay the bills.  I have struggled being out of work this long and it has been contributing to my overall depression.  I come from a very blue collar background and have always worked hard for what I have.  I have never been out of work this long before.

The good news is I am continuing to lose weight.  This week has really shown me that my previous method of coping (i.e. avoidance) was not working.  I did try to eat a little extra candy or some ice cream a few times and you know what I felt.........even more empty.  It just made me feel sick and hollow inside.  So, I went to the gym and kicked my own butt.  My new method of "coping".