Intro

I guess I will begin by saying that I have not always been overweight.  I was a healthy enough kid up until I hit the age of 17 or so.  Since then, it has all been downhill....

While I was never actually over weight as a child, I do remember thinking that I was.  I have few photos of myself after the age of puberty or so.  You see, at the age of about 10 I was living with my mother (who was obese) and an alcoholic stepfather.  What I did not know at the time was that my mother was jealous of me as I started developing.  I guess she felt that my stepfather would be more interested in me than her.  Sick...yes.  Logical....no.   But who ever said parents where very logical.

So, I went through my teenage years wearing baggy clothing to hide what my mother told me was a rather large derriere.  Why would I listen to her, you ask.  Why not?  I thought my mother might have been trying to save me the embarrassment of what she went through as an overweight young woman.  It was not until years later, and shortly before I moved out, that she shared her sick theory of my stepfather being more attracted to me than her.

To make a long story short, I left when I was 17.  Between the verbal abuse from my stepfather and my slightly off-balance mother I felt I had no choice.  Unfortunately, my mother's unfounded criticism soon became a reality.  I lived with my grandfather and then my future husband and began packing on the pounds.  By the time I got married, at the young age of 19, I was wearing a size 18 wedding dress.

Now here I am, 31 years old and a divorce later.  I am in a much happier place in my life that includes a great relationship and a great career.  The problem is that I am still not happy with my body.  After a recent surgery I managed to get down to a tight size 16.  I have been regularly exercising for the past 6 months or so but have yet to lose more than a few pounds.  Something has to change.