I have been eating healthier now for approximately two weeks. For me, this has meant focusing more on correct portion sizes and calorie intake. I am also trying to add some whole grains and a variety of veggies back into my diet. Baby steps.....
So far, I have managed to lose two pounds. Considering that I was in Atlantic City for an anniversary trip last week, that's not too bad. I did not eat very healthy in AC and this was immediately obvious to me when I did try to exercise. I have started a program called 100 push ups and I was doing pretty well adding reps into my routine - until I tried it in AC. After a night of not-so-careful eating, I could barely push myself off the ground. Yikes! Needless to say, I was happy to return to a more ordered eating structure when I came home.
Now, I just have to worry about fighting with my back. I would love to add more to my workouts but I find that an hour of walking (with hills) on the treadmill is usually all I can handle. On good days I try to put in an additional 15 minutes on the bike. I also do some minor strength training - crunches, push ups and squats - a few times a week. After 3 or 4 days of this my back usually requires a rest. I do have a 6-inch scar and my doctor told me that it would take up to a year for those muscles to fully recover from the "trauma".
So, I am trying hard to be patient with myself. I am NOT a patient person so this is my biggest obstacle. In the past, this has led me straight to binging. Now, though, I keep glancing at the brownies in the cupboard and reminding myself how much worse I will feel if I do indulge. I hope I soon reach the point where everyday is no longer a battle. I remain hopeful.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
On back surgery and being "too young"
While my problems with food began a long time ago, I have had more recent obstacles on my road to "recovery". You see, I was actually on the road to a healthier lifestyle almost five years ago. I had started a running program and I was starting to eat better. I really enjoyed running and, despite being painfully slow and flat-footed, I was excited to finally find an exercise that I genuinely loved. Then the back problems started.
I first noticed a dull ache in my lower back when I was traveling to a car race with my boyfriend. I had just gotten a new car- a tiny, sporty little Miata that I was absolutely in love with. I assumed that I was just "getting older" and my back had to get used to the seats. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning of my problems.
After a month or more had passed and the back aches continued, I went to my primary care. I was given a large dose of aspirin and told to come back if it persisted. Unfortunately, it did. I even started getting some sciatica (leg pain). And so began three years of increasing pain, constant medication and an endless stream of doctors.
I was working as a technician at a drug company and my job was intensely physical. My back pain got so bad that I used to take time out at work to go hide somewhere and cry. Meanwhile, I was spending a lot of my free time in physical therapy, which didn't help. I saw an endless stream of doctors - most of whom told me I was "too young to be in so much pain". No kidding? None of them wanted to perform something as drastic as surgery on someone who was only in their late twenties. One rocket science even told me I was overweight and should exercise more. When I asked him how I was supposed to do this, since I was in so much pain that I had to be on hard drugs to get through my days, he just shrugged and dismissed me. This was the same doctor who a male friend had seen. This friend of mine is easily 450lbs but I guess the doctor felt no need to lecture him on HIS weight. (I was delighted to find out later from my primary care that this doctor is under investigation because of numerous patient complaints).
To make a long story short, this went on for three years. Then my friend, who had told me all along I would probably need surgery, sent me to her doctor. This particular friend is brutally honest and recommended me to this doctor because she trusted him not to "bullshit" her. This recommendation turned out to be a godsend. This doctor was also slightly hesitant to operate but, after hearing my story, agreed that I might need a spinal fusion. I underwent some additional tests and found out I was a good candidate for this type of surgery. The doctor told me I would never be pain free but the goal was to get me at least 50% better. While this may sound like a small change, it was worth it for me. At that point I was using a cane on a somewhat regular basis and vicodin was barely working for the pain.
I had spinal fusion surgery in July of last year. Was it painful and difficult to recover from? Yes. Would I do it again? Of course. Aside from some persistent muscle spasms a month or so after surgery, my recovery went well. I was up with a walker within two days of surgery. Six weeks later I didn't even need my cane anymore. It is a very difficult surgery to recover from but I think my age and determination played a big part.
Walking is the best exercise for a back surgery patient - and I haven't stopped walking since I left the hospital. Over the past six months, I have slowly worked up to walking 3.5 miles up to five times a week. I was also able to start using an exercise bike again.
One of the best things I have noticed about all this exercise is an overall improvement in my health. I have not been sick with any sort of cold or infection since before my surgery. This is pretty impressive for someone who used to get sick whenever someone sneezed near her.
Now my goal is to link this new found appreciation for exercise with some healthier eating habits and some weight loss...
I first noticed a dull ache in my lower back when I was traveling to a car race with my boyfriend. I had just gotten a new car- a tiny, sporty little Miata that I was absolutely in love with. I assumed that I was just "getting older" and my back had to get used to the seats. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning of my problems.
After a month or more had passed and the back aches continued, I went to my primary care. I was given a large dose of aspirin and told to come back if it persisted. Unfortunately, it did. I even started getting some sciatica (leg pain). And so began three years of increasing pain, constant medication and an endless stream of doctors.
I was working as a technician at a drug company and my job was intensely physical. My back pain got so bad that I used to take time out at work to go hide somewhere and cry. Meanwhile, I was spending a lot of my free time in physical therapy, which didn't help. I saw an endless stream of doctors - most of whom told me I was "too young to be in so much pain". No kidding? None of them wanted to perform something as drastic as surgery on someone who was only in their late twenties. One rocket science even told me I was overweight and should exercise more. When I asked him how I was supposed to do this, since I was in so much pain that I had to be on hard drugs to get through my days, he just shrugged and dismissed me. This was the same doctor who a male friend had seen. This friend of mine is easily 450lbs but I guess the doctor felt no need to lecture him on HIS weight. (I was delighted to find out later from my primary care that this doctor is under investigation because of numerous patient complaints).
To make a long story short, this went on for three years. Then my friend, who had told me all along I would probably need surgery, sent me to her doctor. This particular friend is brutally honest and recommended me to this doctor because she trusted him not to "bullshit" her. This recommendation turned out to be a godsend. This doctor was also slightly hesitant to operate but, after hearing my story, agreed that I might need a spinal fusion. I underwent some additional tests and found out I was a good candidate for this type of surgery. The doctor told me I would never be pain free but the goal was to get me at least 50% better. While this may sound like a small change, it was worth it for me. At that point I was using a cane on a somewhat regular basis and vicodin was barely working for the pain.
I had spinal fusion surgery in July of last year. Was it painful and difficult to recover from? Yes. Would I do it again? Of course. Aside from some persistent muscle spasms a month or so after surgery, my recovery went well. I was up with a walker within two days of surgery. Six weeks later I didn't even need my cane anymore. It is a very difficult surgery to recover from but I think my age and determination played a big part.
Walking is the best exercise for a back surgery patient - and I haven't stopped walking since I left the hospital. Over the past six months, I have slowly worked up to walking 3.5 miles up to five times a week. I was also able to start using an exercise bike again.
One of the best things I have noticed about all this exercise is an overall improvement in my health. I have not been sick with any sort of cold or infection since before my surgery. This is pretty impressive for someone who used to get sick whenever someone sneezed near her.
Now my goal is to link this new found appreciation for exercise with some healthier eating habits and some weight loss...
Friday, January 21, 2011
Intro
I guess I will begin by saying that I have not always been overweight. I was a healthy enough kid up until I hit the age of 17 or so. Since then, it has all been downhill....
While I was never actually over weight as a child, I do remember thinking that I was. I have few photos of myself after the age of puberty or so. You see, at the age of about 10 I was living with my mother (who was obese) and an alcoholic stepfather. What I did not know at the time was that my mother was jealous of me as I started developing. I guess she felt that my stepfather would be more interested in me than her. Sick...yes. Logical....no. But who ever said parents where very logical.
So, I went through my teenage years wearing baggy clothing to hide what my mother told me was a rather large derriere. Why would I listen to her, you ask. Why not? I thought my mother might have been trying to save me the embarrassment of what she went through as an overweight young woman. It was not until years later, and shortly before I moved out, that she shared her sick theory of my stepfather being more attracted to me than her.
To make a long story short, I left when I was 17. Between the verbal abuse from my stepfather and my slightly off-balance mother I felt I had no choice. Unfortunately, my mother's unfounded criticism soon became a reality. I lived with my grandfather and then my future husband and began packing on the pounds. By the time I got married, at the young age of 19, I was wearing a size 18 wedding dress.
Now here I am, 31 years old and a divorce later. I am in a much happier place in my life that includes a great relationship and a great career. The problem is that I am still not happy with my body. After a recent surgery I managed to get down to a tight size 16. I have been regularly exercising for the past 6 months or so but have yet to lose more than a few pounds. Something has to change.
While I was never actually over weight as a child, I do remember thinking that I was. I have few photos of myself after the age of puberty or so. You see, at the age of about 10 I was living with my mother (who was obese) and an alcoholic stepfather. What I did not know at the time was that my mother was jealous of me as I started developing. I guess she felt that my stepfather would be more interested in me than her. Sick...yes. Logical....no. But who ever said parents where very logical.
So, I went through my teenage years wearing baggy clothing to hide what my mother told me was a rather large derriere. Why would I listen to her, you ask. Why not? I thought my mother might have been trying to save me the embarrassment of what she went through as an overweight young woman. It was not until years later, and shortly before I moved out, that she shared her sick theory of my stepfather being more attracted to me than her.
To make a long story short, I left when I was 17. Between the verbal abuse from my stepfather and my slightly off-balance mother I felt I had no choice. Unfortunately, my mother's unfounded criticism soon became a reality. I lived with my grandfather and then my future husband and began packing on the pounds. By the time I got married, at the young age of 19, I was wearing a size 18 wedding dress.
Now here I am, 31 years old and a divorce later. I am in a much happier place in my life that includes a great relationship and a great career. The problem is that I am still not happy with my body. After a recent surgery I managed to get down to a tight size 16. I have been regularly exercising for the past 6 months or so but have yet to lose more than a few pounds. Something has to change.
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